Lessons Learned in the Garden

Most people who know me know I have a beautiful garden in my yard. I did not plant it, nor was the garden even my idea. I usually don't even tend the garden because we have a wonderful man from our church who has a landscape business and a very green thumb, so we pay him to tend it for us. It is a win-win situation. We help him financially, and he helps us physically. However, with the monsoon rains we have been having of recent weeks, he has been very busy trying to keep up with his many clients, while the weeds have been very busy trying to take over in my garden.

Now this garden has become an integral part of my life. Can't say I wouldn't be able to live without it, but it would not be pretty. It has become my spot. My place to rest my soul and refresh my spirit. To interact with my Lord and hear from Him on a daily basis. I love my little bit of heaven.
But for the last couple of weeks, my little garden has been sadly in need of some weeding. It was bad. Really, really bad. Dismal.

I had been procrastinating, hoping Mike would come and do the "dirty work" for me. And the longer I waited, the worse it got. And the bigger the job. 

So this morning, I could stand it no longer. 

I decided enough was enough, and I tackled the mess. 

Really, it only took me about 45 minutes to do the part that is in the photos. The part that I see when I sit on my bench and look out. But you know me, I God had some spiritual lessons for me tucked in those weeds. There were many, so I think I will share one each day this week. That way, you don't have to read all day to get to the end of this post. And it will force me to think about it all week, too. And maybe help me to attack the rest of the garden that is also being threatened by the weed monster. 

Lesson 1

Weeds are much easier to conquer if you get them when they are small and few. 

We have been dealing with some overwhelming family issues of late and the pain of it has shaken me to my core. And the enemy has tried to steal my joy in the midst. But just because I don't see God working doesn't mean he isn't. So if I let those thoughts of "what if He doesn't do something" or even the thoughts of "if you love me so much, why is this happening" take root in my heart, I will not be able to survive this. I have to remember my adversary is out to destroy me along with my entire family through this situation and if I give those thoughts root, he will bring other thoughts, feelings and seemingly harmless imaginings to validate my feelings and inhabit my mind. 

The temptation becomes sin when I give these seemingly harmless, self pitying thoughts life in the garden of my mind and heart, and they becomes rooted there. That is why Paul says to "take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ." I have to uproot those suckers as soon as they come. That doesn't mean I can't be sad. Even Jesus was sad, and He knew the end of the story! Remember the shortest verse in the Bible? Jesus wept. Why? Because his friend Lazarus had died. He knew He was going to raise him from the dead, yet He wept over the loss. He even delayed in coming to heal him so that He could raise him. But it still caused Him distress in His heart. Partly because it caused his friends Mary and Martha so much sadness. And my sadness causes Him sadness, too. But I have to remember that my Hope is in the Lord. He is my living Hope. And being in His presence, not in the pit is what changes that. The situation may never change. But my perspective will. He is still sovereign. He still sees, knows and IS. He is still I AM. 

It is the same with other sins. If we nip them in the bud, we do not give them place to grow. We have to remember that for one thing to take root, something else has to go. For a sin to take root, a truth has to be uprooted. This is why Paul says we need to be "rooted and grounded in the Word of God". So that when a temptation comes, we can recognize it and pull it out before it blooms into sin. We have an enemy. A Hater. And hater's gonna hate. His goal for you is to destroy you. But God is bigger. And His goal is to mature you into the image of Christ. So in His infinite wisdom, He gives you a choice. And lovingly He presents you with the opportunity to define your love for Him in a tangible, and often difficult way. 

 It would be much easier for me to coddle these feelings I am having and just lay down and have a big ole pity party. It would be easier to hate the people who are hurting me and my family than to love them. And as I am finding out, it is true that there is a "fine line between love and hate". But I have to remember that THEY are not my enemies. And even if they were, Christ commands me to love my enemies. To do good to them who hurt us. Who use you and say hurtful and untrue things about you. (my paraphrase!) For in loving them, you are loving Christ. You are being obedient to Christ. You are identifying with Christ. Because it was for me He took upon Himself the form of a man, and was obedient to His Father, even to death on the cross. And if He did that for me, it is the least I can do for Him. And it brings me closer to Him as I choose to "Deny myself (my desires, my feelings that I should wallow in hurt and pain and let it swallow me into the pit of despair), take up my cross (and do what I cannot humanly do: love unconditionally) and follow Him (closely, desperately). And when I focus on Him and His Word, "renewing my mind" he changes my thinking, my patterns of thought that are ungodly to His thoughts And poof! I can see the temptation for what it truly is: an ugly weed that will give birth to something that will suck the nutrition from the soil of the garden that He has been tending in my heart. It will suck the life out of me. So as painful as it may be, when I recognize it, I must pluck it up and cast it and my real enemy, the enemy of my soul, into the pit where they belong.

Is it easy to uproot a sin that has taken root? No, it isnt. But for the sake of Christ, we must. That is why it should be done when the temptation is just a thought. And that is the subject of tomorrow's post. 

 

God is.

It has been my practice for several months now to go out and watch the sunrise in my front yard. I have a beautiful view, and it is very picturesque to watch it come up with palm cypress trees in the foreground. 

I go out to watch because I feel like it is better than the best movie. Every day it is different, and every day I sense God's presence in a new and tangible way. 

My favorite color is pink. And most every day, in my front yard here in sunny south Florida, I am surrounded in pink sky. As the pink hues of sunrise envelope my little world, I come face to face with the reality that I am loved so deeply by my creator, the God of the universe. I truly, with all my heart believe he creates these beautiful "skyscapes" just for me. Really. Because he can, and because he loves to show me just how much he loves me. I just have to get up in the morning and look for it. 

Anyway, the last two weeks have been particularly difficult ones, because of a family situation that is vastly painful beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I have been grappling with it and trying to see God's plan in it, but it has been so hard. And it has been rainy here, so the sunrises have been non- existent. They have really mirrored my emotions. Gray, and seemingly shrouded in sadness. Sometimes, it seemed that God himself was weeping along with me. Which is a great comfort to think that my sadness of heart could touch the heart of God. After all, what is happening in my family saddens his heart too. And the hard part is that I am helpless in this situation. I must sit back and watch it all unfold. 

But God has been faithful in reminding me that I am not without hope. Especially this morning. 

I awoke early and went outside, where the sunrise was just beginning. It was beautiful beyond words today. Pink was all around, and as I looked straight up, there were a few puffy lower level clouds that were pink. They were right over head. And as my eyes traveled around the sky, the entire horizon to my left and to my right turned a subtle pink. And I looked behind, and it turned pink, too. So I looked back up at the clouds overhead, and they had formed a circle of pink-ness. 

And thats when it hit me. 

God was surrounding me.

 As I watched, He was engulfing me in his presence and telling me, "You may not see me working, but I got this. You just need to rest and remain in me. See, I go before you, and I guard you on your left, and on your right. I have set my rear guard behind you, and I have covered your head. Don't worry, child. I am in The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I see, I know, and I AM."

I stood there, worshipping him with a grateful heart. And as I looked around, the sun was again covered by the clouds. And the sunrise, a brief interlude today, was over. The cloud cover blotted it out, and soon, it will begin to rain again today. 

But that's ok, because God showed up today, big time. And my joy cup is filled to the brim and overflowing because He came to me in my sadness and met me there. He lifted my spirit in the way that only he can. And although my heart is still sad and hurting beyond words, I am no longer overwhelmed by it. He lifted my head above the waters that were threatening to drown me, and breathed his breath into my lungs. And my strength is renewed. My hope is shored up again. And I can go on with great joy, because he loves me. 

The song on my heart today as I woke fit this, too. It was one the worship team sang this weekend at church. An old one, that I am sure now that was chosen to strengthen and encourage me this week.

Wow, God. You really want me to get this message today.

Strength will rise when we wait upon the Lord. 

We will wait upon you Lord. We will wait upon you Lord.

Our God, will reign forever. 

Our Hope. Our Strong Deliverer.

You are the Everlasting God. The Everlasting God. 

You do not fail, You won't grow weary. 

You're the defender of the weak. You comfort those in need. 

You lift us up on wings like eagles. 

Thanks, God. I am humbled and amazed yet again. I love you, too. And I will hope in you all the day long. I trust you. 

Being Thankful in the Midst

I am sick. Ok, I finally have to give in to it. This sickness. I am not sure when I came to this conclusion: Whether it was yesterday evening when I couldn't stop coughing and I felt like my lungs were going to explode, or at 2:00 am when I had to wake up my Dearest and have him get me a mug of steaming salt water so I could breathe enough to use my inhaler so I could stop coughing. Or when I woke up at 9:15 and realized that I couldn't muster up the strength to drag myself out of bed, so I just laid there trying to call for someone to get me a drink of water, but had no voice. And on top of that, I have a HUGE fever blister on my upper lip. And one on the edge of my right nostril. I have given it, and I am now taking otc meds and lots of vitamins, minerals and using my inhaler regularly. I think I am going to live. However, the jury is still out for now.

But when I actually woke up enough to realize it was 10:30, my hubby brought me a pot of tea. I was just mustering up the strength to drag myself out of bed to go fix some, and here he comes with a pot, out to the motor home for me. 

And after I finished it, he took it back in the house, and walked me up the driveway and made sure I made it in. When I got in, I realized my sister had done all my laundry. All of it. I didn't even have to ask her to. And she was fixing lunch for my family, too. 

Together, we made Ham and Scalloped Potatoes for everyone.

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2012/04/scalloped-potatoes-and-ham/ 

It is wonderful to have someone finish what you start, clean up after you, and take care of your family. I never want to leave. I think this is kinda like what heaven will be like. 

We will  be serving our Beloved. I will not be a chore, but a joy. We will never get sick, never tire, and it will be with the people we love eternally. And we will all be working together toward one common goal: worshipping and loving our Savior. There will be no selfishness, no bickering, no waste, no pain, no end. We can't even imagine it, in fact, it seems almost impossible. 

Thank you Father, for what you have prepared for us. For those that you love and have chosen and called to your purpose. And thank you for what you have provided now, so we will have a glimpse of what is to come, and for those who serve us on a daily basis and we take for granted. Thank you for my Dearest Husband, and my sweet sister, serving me and making me feel very loved. Their simple actions spoke volumes of love to me today. 

In Jesus' name, Amen.

The Perfect Pancakes

I think I have found the perfect pancake recipe. Seriously, I think they will use this recipe in heaven. It came from my new favorite cookbook: The Pioneer Woman Cooks. If you have never been to her blog, it is time to stop reading mine right now and head over there. www.thepioneerwoman.com
Go now. Do not read any further. You will be hooked. You will forget all about my blog, and never return. But thats ok. She has that effect on people. In fact, I am going to take a little break now and head over there for a while. Oh! I almost forgot....the pancakes!

You won't find this recipe on her blog. Not there. Don't know why, but it is in the cookbook. And now it is going to be on my blog. Minus the beautiful step by step photographs. But thats ok. You can figure it out without pictures, right? So heres what you'll need to make these heavenly wonders:

1 C sour cream

7 Tbsp flour

1 Tbsp sugar

1 tsp bkg. soda

1/2 tsp salt

2 eggs

1/2 tsp vanilla

butter

chocolate chips if desired

Now, heres what you're gonna do: Get a griddle or pan nice and hot. While it is getting hot, mix up the batter IN THIS ORDER: 

1. mix the sour cream, flour, sugar, soda and salt GENTLY together in a bowl. You should not mix it together fully, but just almost. 

2. mix the eggs and vanilla in a small bowl.

3. mix the egg mix into the sour cream mixture, again, very gently. Don't worry about totally combining the mixture, as a little lumpy, swirly mix is fine.

4. melt some butter in your pan, and take about 1/4 cup of batter and pour it into the hot butter. Cook it for about 1 to 1 1/2 minutes, then sprinkle a handful of chocolate chips on top. Flip and cook another 45 seconds or until done. 

5. ENJOY! We don't use syrup, but you could certainly use some if you like. 

These were the last three on the plate. I made a double batch and it made about 24 pancakes. 

AND, since I am now gluten-free, I made an additional batch with gluten free flour, and xylitol instead of the sugar, and they were perfect, too!! So, go make some for yourself, your family and the world. They will love you for it. You will love yourself for it. And you will love me for sharing this perfect recipe with you. And you will do the Pioneer Woman proud. And you will love her too!!

Just a quick post today, since I am not feeling well. Haven't been sick in 3 years, since I've been going to the chiropractor on a regular basis. I stopped going (for a number of what seem like silly reasons, now) about 4 months ago, and I promise, Dr. Matt that I will be headed to your office as soon as I get home. I forgot how awful of a sickie I am. Brings out the inner selfish, bratty, only child in me. And did I say whiny? Brings out the inner selfish, bratty, whiny, only child in me.

So I've been poking around on Pinterest way too much....Don says he and the kids need to stage a "Pinter-vention", but I don't think I have a problem...do you? Wait...don't answer that. Anyway, today I found a website giving away a Nikon camera. So here is the link, and if you want one, go buy one because I want to win this one. Did I say demanding? The inner selfish, bratty, whiny, demanding only child in me. So I am posting this only because I get 25 extra entries by doing this. But don't go there and enter for yourself. I will hurt you. I will find out, and my inner selfish, bratty, whiny, demanding, and sometimes CRAZY only child in me will do something that I won't be sorry for.


a Rafflecopter giveaway


So if you love me, you won't enter. And if you love yourself, you won't enter. So for the love of all that is sacred, don't enter. Just let me win. OK?

(Disclaimer: any rash or unkind comments were made on a sick day, in which my inner selfish, bratty, shiny, demanding, and sometimes CRAZY only child was in charge. They do not reflect the true feelings of the author and will not be valid when the sickness passes. Which hopefully will be tomorrow. Or even later today. Or now. Whichever is soonest. So please go enter. But if you win, the inner selfish....etc. will stalk you down and have your lunch. Or take you to lunch to congratulate you. And steal the camera out of your purse when you are not looking. Go ahead....make my day....hehehe)

Enough Already!!

Lately I have been feeling sad. Not sad about one thing, but many. But mostly because I realize that my life of parenting little ones is coming to a close, and I am entering a new phase of life: Parenting adult children who are making life choices that I do not agree with. And it grieves me in such a deep way, that it has overshadowed every other thing in my life. And it sucks the enjoyment out of the things I used to really love. But, in some weird way, that is a good thing. Because I am learning to see the things that used to be really important as kinda trivial and a waste of time, and the things that I pushed aside are now taking a priority. Let me explain.

I used to spend a lot of time worrying about how I looked. I spent time fixing my hair just so. I washed it every day, even in the winter. I permed, curled, blow-dried, and moussed the heck out of it. I shopped for fabric, clothes, shoes, and accessories whenever I got the chance.

And I scrapbooked. I think I was addicted. I had to have all the latest goodies, and since I was a Creative Memories Consultant, I had to sell them to my customers, too. And when scrapbooking went mainstream, WOW! I amassed copious amounts of supplies.

Then I started stamping cards. And the collection grew to astronomic proportions.

And the china, tea pots, tea cups, and don't forget the tea itself.

I loved me some stuff. And I loved me, way too much.

None of these things are bad. None of them are wrong. But one day, I started looking around and realized that I had filled my life with so much stuff that I loved, that there wasn't time to use it. I had to spend all my time organizing and cleaning up my stuff. I hated to take anything out and make a mess because I had so much it was difficult to get it out or put it away. I had so much that I had to use up that I didn't have time to go out with a friend for lunch. It would take too much time to get ready, and take up time I needed to be doing something else.

But, God is so good and he is teaching me to let go of stuff. It started by a sermon that our pastor preached about the needs in other countries, and how we have so much. I felt God was asking me to do something: Fast from buying myself anything for the next year.

I am six months into it, and I am making some strides in the right direction. And the amazing thing is that, although I held my stuff loosely before this, I now let him hold it. And I have gotten to where I can go in a store and smile and say: "I don't need that. It will just take up space, and I don't want to clean up after using it, and think of how many people can be helped by the money I save!" I admit, I haven't been perfectly faithful. Just this past week I bought something I have to return because, I just don't need it. But as I seek him, he is faithful to help me see, little by little, that it is just stuff, NOT the STUFF of LIFE. HE is the Stuff of Life.

And that is the best thing that has happened is that as I let go of the clutter, I have room for Him. As I stop the busyness, and be still, I am seeing things in His Word more clearly than I ever have, and I am falling deeper and deeper in love with Him. Which I never was able to comprehend before. People would say, "I love Jesus so much" and I would wonder how they got there. And would I ever? In fact, I often thought that I didn't love him at all. Now I realize that you never really know how to love someone unless there is sacrifice. Think about it. All real, deep love is borne out of sacrifice. You love your kids and have sacrificed who you were as a childless, free woman for them. Perhaps you even resent them a little for it. I know I do. But I love being a mom. And your husband. I can't even comment on that one. It is a willing and joyful sacrifice. And thats the way Christ wants us to treat him. After all, look at what he gave up for us. What a willing sacrifice he was for us.

We can love, because he set the standard. He made the ultimate sacrifice for us. His life for mine. Yet, He hasn't asked me to go to my death for him. He has asked for me to go to my life for him. Living life with him and for him. And death to my ways, thought patterns and sinful desires. Easier said than done.

Which brings me back to my original thought: (you thought I had forgotten that, didn't you?) Being sad.
How do I not let this sadness take root and overshadow everything with its black canopy? By choosing to live in the joy of the journey and the hope of Him. Job said, "though he slay me, still I will rejoice in Him." Practically speaking,

Psalm 46 lays it out:

"God is our refuge and our strength. An ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, thought the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

Theres more, but this is what I see:

God is my refuge. But I have to be still to know it. And the more still and quiet my heart is, the more I enjoy him, and the less I need to seek pleasure in stuff. And as I am still and quiet, I can look at the nations for subtle signs of his movement. I can look for Him at work everywhere. I can see the ways he is exalted in the earth: the trees, the flowers, the seas, the lakes, the rocks. Everything shouts his praise. And the nations will one day, too.

And my situation will change. At just the right time, in just the way HE wants it to. When and where. And not a moment to late, or too soon. So Enough Already! I am going to embrace the moment and live for Him here and now, and rip up the roots of that black weeping willow that has taken over the joy of my heart and forge ahead in the Hope of my tomorrow. Goodnight joy-sucker, Good morning, Joy of the Morning!

For various reasons, we decided to stay in Mahomet, Il. at the lovely Tin Cup campground and Driving Range (yes, I did say driving range...not that I would ever take advantage of it, but it was lovely to look at) for one more night, before heading to Chicagoland for the wedding of the couple Don and I had been privileged to mentor. They are getting married this afternoon, and we are so excited for them.

Since we were staying an extra day, we decided to explore the quaint little town of Mahomet. First, we indulged in a delicious breakfast at the Red Hen.

Then, upon the recommendation of our Campground Host, we went to the Lake of the Woods park. Oh My!! It was a beautiful park with a botanical garden that went on and on. We walked around just enjoying God's creation and then went back to RTJ (wondering what that is? read earlier posts) to rest.

A little later, everyone decided it was time to eat again. (I always wonder how this happens so quickly. I mean, do they really need food all that often? I can't figure out why, after a HUGE breakfast, 3 hours later they are hungry again. And they get real cranky if they don't get food. Especially the oldest one. Dad I mean.) So Don looked on Urban Spoon (his favorite for recommendations...mine too, especially in a little one horse town) and found an authentic Mexican place called Zarapes. Now I know you're thinking what I was thinking: "Mexican.....in Illinois??" But it had multiple positive reviews, so off we went. Well, we were all pleasantly surprised. The food was fantastic, service impeccable and cleaner than most places I've been. Josiah had the Burrito Mano. It was HUGE!! Steak and beans, cheese, sour creme, lettuce and covered with homemade queso.

AND HE ATE IT ALL.

Thats when I realized he is in his growth spurt and we are in trouble. Our food bill is on its way up. Unless we live in Mahomet, Il. where he could eat this burrito every day and only pay $6.99 for it. Yup. I said $6.99!! If we lived there, and he ate there every day, I think they would have to up their prices. Or we would put them out of business. So I think it would be better for them if we move on.

After eating, we stopped at a little second hand shop in the same shopping center. We found some old children's books for .25 each, including a hardback edition of the complete collection of Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne. For a quarter! While checking out I spied several cute doilies and asked if she had any more. She replied, "Do I have any more? I have 2 huge tubs of them from my mother's and grandmother's attic in my office! Would you like to see them?" "Yes, Please."

I spent the next 1/2 hour ooh-ing and ahh-ing over the beautiful hand crocheted and embroidered doilies and laces. When I'd finished, I picked through and decided what I thought I could afford and asked, "how much for these?" Mind you I had enough to fill a large Kohl's bag.

"How about $20.00 for the lot?", said she. I had my wallet out and the $20.00 in her hand before she could change her mind. We stuffed them in the Kohl's bag and I walked out smiling like the Cheshire Cat. I knew I had just been blessed and was so excited. But as we drove home, I was thinking: "I should have just offered her $50.00 for the whole tub. I could have had it all!" And immediately a seed of discontentment was planted in my heart.

When we got back to BTJ, I began to scheme in my mind how I could get back by that shop before she closed and offer her $30.00 for the rest of the lot. I forgot all about the amazing blessing God had just given me, and started coveting the stuff I didn't get. Don and I had to go right back there to get groceries later so maybe I could convince him to take me back. No, I knew that would never work. Yet I had to hope he would understand, and maybe he would want me to have it. But alas, No. Even though I said to him, "I could make such cute things with them. I would give some and make some gifts." I even tried, as we were leaving the grocery store parking lot, "I still think you should take me there and let me get the rest of it." "Oh, you do, do you?" Says he, as he drives past.

My heart sank just a little bit, but then the Holy Spirit smacked me upside the head. I thought, "and you are trying to downsize? YOU?" and I opened my heart just a little bit to let the Holy Spirit speak. And He did. He said, "If you buy all that stuff now, you will close yourself off to what I will bring you in the future. You will not have room for anything else. And this is just the beginning of the trip. What if you find some other amazing things at garage sales or auctions in Ohio? or what if you want to buy a gift for someone else and you have spent all I have for you to spend?" And I immediately asked forgiveness for being so short sighted, so selfish and so greedy. And then I realized that there are way more spiritual implications that I need to learn from this.

If I have my hands so full of activities, even if they are good ones, and the Lord brings something else that is more for me, and I can't do it, I miss out on a huge blessing. And if I am doing serving somewhere that is clearly not where I should be, I am robbing someone else of their blessing since I am filling the need that they should be. And if I spend money that should be going to something else, I am robbing God, myself, and someone else. If he can't trust me with something as small as money, (which is huge to us, but nothing to him), why would he trust me with spiritual gifts. OUCH!

I am learning. I have been 'round this block before. But here is yet another layer of that smelly onion he is skillfully removing. And the more he does, the more I see my deep need of a surgeon to remove the cancer of my selfish desires. And I love him all the more for it.